Disney Rip-Offs: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

*Sighs* We better just get this one out of the way! The second rip-off of the Victor Hugo classic after The Secret of the Hunchback, this was released as part of GoldenFilms Enchanted Tales collection (really...?) & was released as a direct to video movie the exact same year as Disney's adaptation of the book. So, is this movie as beautiful as the bells of Notre Dame chiming away, or is this a movie that's somehow even uglier than Frollo's heart from the Disney version? Let's. Take. A. Look.

Story: To say that this story is insulting to the original Victor Hugo novel is like saying that the animated Titanic trilogy (I still can't believe those exist) is insulting to the people who died in the Titanic disaster! This hardly resembles the story outside of the title, being set in France, gypsies being featured & a couple of characters. But even then, it rips off plenty of elements from other kids movies & lightens the tone up to the point that it blinds me (because kids can't take dark stuff, I guess?)! Anyway, there's absolutely no character development, atrocious antics that constitutes as 'comedy' based on stupid character traits & the pacing again, is way too rushed with so much padding. And that's not even going into the plot being so incoherent because the narrative is that messed up that it leaves barely any room for Quasimodo to actually contribute anything! Seriously, the movie decides to focus more on annoying musical instrument characters that follow Esmeralda-I mean Melody around & the fact that it's illegal to play music in the night (I'd much rather be watching Phantom of the Opera now) which is why discount Frollo is after them! But do you want to know the WORST thing about all of this is stupidity?! The ending! Yeah! Outside of the ridiculousness of the main plot, none of them will make me as angry as the stupidest, nonsensical, out of place, painful & screwed up ending I have EVER seen! It's easily the biggest fuck you to the novel, Victor Hugo & the message & purpose of Quasimodo's character! Even those who don't like Disney's version (I personally do like it despite the gargoyle's irritating presence), they should at the very least appreciate that it took risks with the intensely dark tone! Believe me when I say that this plot is as if not more stupid than The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2! Oh yeah! This is that bad!

Animation: Blah-blah-blah, the animation is crap, blah-blah-blah, what the fuck did you expect?! With numerous of errors galore, it feels like there was no animation director looking over everything! Filled with continuity errors that are right in your face (including colour & transition changes), atrocious lip synching that's somehow even worse than the past films (trust me, there are moments where the mouths either don't move at all while talking or leaving their mouths hanging open a'la Bella from Twilight!) & an overall lazier quality than the past films, this was just unpleasant to look at from start to finish. And remember when I mentioned that these movies would replay little bits of animation? Well, this takes it up to fucking 100 as they play a certain clip, not once, not twice, not thrice, but FOUR times & this is on top of flipping other clips & replaying them! Obviously the character animation is extremely choppy with absolutely no lighting or depth to them along with the childish & insulting character designs. And oddly enough, despite being set in freaking Paris, the backgrounds look awfully generic with absolutely no attention to detail into the architecture! *Sighs* This is probably the worst animation I've seen so far from Golden Films & this is REALLY saying a lot!

Yes, this is actually part of the movie

Characters: Despite being called 'The HUNCHBACK of Notre Dame', Quasimodo barely even appears, let alone contributes nothing to the plot! And he might as well be called 'Beau' because he's not even deformed except for not standing up straight & having his hair in the way of his face (until the stupid ending). Anyway, Esmeralda-I mean Melody is just a bland love interest despite having freaking magic. Oh yeah, and the discount Frollo, Jean-Claude, is literally just Gaston with a mustache that's after Melody & hates music! I know I've pointed out other times where they've ripped off various character designs from Disney, but not to this extent! Oh yeah, and he's such a stupid villain with a bad stereotypical French accent! Anyway side characters like Pierre is an annoying sidekick similar to LeFou, the Baron, Jean-Claude & Quasimodo's father (SPOILER ALERT, except I really don't care at this point) is just comic relief whose only character trait is that he's fat & loves to eat just like the stepsister from Jetlag's Cinderella and Melody's another who's just crazy & irritating. The musical characters never shut up & are infuriatingly annoying along with the 'animal sidekick' bats who plague the screen rather than who should really matter in the story. I am dead serious when I say that all of these characters made me feel like pulling my hair out!

Songs: Ugh, yep, this is a musical yet again & they're not even close to living up to the majesty & scale of Alan Menken's incredible music of the Disney version! None of them bring any insight to the characters & the plot, but are rather used to pad the movie & stop it from moving forward. The first one is just about the city of Paris by heavily relying on stereotypes & terrible puns, the second one is a stupid little 'love song' for Quasimodo & Melody which is irritating because of how much noise is cluttered in it! The third one that's just about Melody while she's in prison showing off her magic with her instrument friends & yet doesn't use it to escape which is also annoying filled with irritating background noise & in a genre that doesn't even fit the time setting! And the final one where it repeats the animation at the start has absolutely no purpose other than to pad the running time of this piece of crap even longer! So...I'm not even sure this can qualify as a musical, but e very single song is forgettable & annoying!

This is without a doubt the absolute worst adaptation of the Victor Hugo classic! The writing is lazy, nonsensical with the worst ending ever, the animation is beyond lazy, the characters are just stereotypes of stereotypes & not a single song lives up to the standards of the Disney movie. Please, DO NOT watch this film at all costs! And I know this may be a big statement, but this is possibly the absolute worst Disney knock-off I've watched so far! I just felt unclean watching this 50 minute movie (which felt like eternity because of how much padding there was) & to be honest, I just want to delete this out of my brain & send it to the bottomless pits of hell. It frankly amazes me that somebody greenlit this in the first place, let alone made it! FUCK! THIS! PIECE! OF! SHIT!
Story: 0/10
Animation: 1/10
Characters: 0/10
Songs: 1/10
Overall: 0/10
GOD, THIS MOVIE!!!