Disney Rip-Offs: The Secret of Anastasia

Before anybody says anything, I am fully aware that Anastasia is actually a Fox/ Don Bluth movie! The real reason why I wanted to include this as part of the collection is that it's still a rip-off of a fairly popular animated movie from the 90s like almost all these rip-offs. And this is in fact not the first knock-off based on the 1997 film/execution of the Romanov family/urban legend that Tsar Nicholas II's youngest daughter had survived. So can UAV Corporation's take on the infamous urban legend do the Romanov family & Anstasia justice, or is this as disgustingly insulting to history as the animated Titanic trilogy? Let's just get this over with.

Story: To say that this is insulting to the legacy of Anastasia & the Romanov family is a massive understatement. I know that Don Bluth's take on the controversial subject also took SEVERAL liberties with what happened to the titular character, but at the very least it acknowledged that it was more of a fairytale with the Romanov family as the backdrop. Even the upcoming Broadway adaptation has taken greater liberties to change the movie's story to show more respect to the family by giving it a much more serious & ambiguous tone given the recent revelations in history. But anyway, it just glances over the revolution & execution of the family via condescendingly annoying narration & instead goes for a cliched plot with Anastasia falling for an obvious villain prince while trying to prove that she's the Grand Duchess to her grandmother. It doesn't really help that there's a massive plot hole right in your face regarding Anastasia's amnesia despite still living in the palace after the revolution & there's no real tension or build-up with her true identity when she fully acknowledges it when discount Dimitri finds her! Oh yeah, and another one regarding the real villain's plan which wouldn't have worked at all unless there was a chance that Anastasia had survived! It's not really a direct rip off of Don Bluth's movie because there is no curse despite taking obvious elements from it, but what makes this even more insulting is the childish treatment of everything. And what makes all of this incredibly mind boggling is...this is more accurate than Bluth's version! Seriously, the revolution wasn't caused by a curse, the Bolsheviks are the (poorly executed) villains, they pronounce Anastasia's name correctly (Anna-stah-see-a) & the Dowager Empress resides in Denmark instead of Paris. But that can't change how...childish such a tragic event is handled with out of place comedy, no pacing, lack of atmosphere & generic Disney Princess style story!

Animation: Like many films before, the animation is for the most part decent yet inconsistent! The character designs feel more like Disney rather than Don Bluth up to the point that Anastasia looks more like a mix of Ariel and Cinderella & it doesn't really help how basic they look in terms of whether or not the characters are heroes or villains. And the way the characters show emotion is pretty creepy And while Don Bluth paid so much attention to detail into capturing the looks of Russia & Paris in the backgrounds, it doesn't even come close in this since most of the backgrounds consist of snowy forests & generic streets/palaces up to point that it doesn't even feel like they're in Russia, let alone traveled to Copenhagen! And of course, there are many animation glitches galore in this mess, including sizes of characters changing, off model designs, poor lip synching, recycled clips & choppy character animation. So despite it being a tad better than other takes, all of these animation errors & the overall look of the film is still pretty bad by direct to video standards!

Characters: Yeah, it's safe to say that despite some of the story being more historically accurate, the same cannot be said about the characters. Anastasia has none of the feistiness of Don Bluth's (or even her real life) counterpart & just comes across as a generic Disney Princess despite the movie's attempts to give her a personality & ends up feeling pretty stupid given that she couldn't see who the obvious villain was.Vladimir (yes, really) is just an upper class Dimitri rip-off as a general training Anastasia to prove that she's really the Grand Duchess while growing to love her except he's nowhere near as charming as the loveable rogue. The musical instruments that follow Anastasia around..well...I can't say much for spoilers because of their identity, but they pretty much rip off the household objects from Beauty & the Beast & are annoying;y inappropriate comic relief which is return is even more insulting once you realize who they really were the whole time. The villains, Prince Paul & Gufenoff (yes, really) are irritating both as a blatantly obvious foil for Vladimir & comedic sidekick akin to Gaston & LeFou, except nowhere near as threatening! And his big reveal as the villain was so anticlimactic & his plan as mentioned before is so convoluted that it's difficult to take him seriously! The Dowager Empress hardly hsa any character other than being cold & strict until she. They hardly go into how heartbreaking it was for her to lose her entire family that it's difficult to feel for her compared to Don Bluth's (and the stage version's) take on the character. And to add insult to injury, her voice actress is definitely no Angela Lansbury! So I think it's safe to say that none of these characters are worth caring about & are about as historically accurate as an iPhone appearing in the 1800s!

Songs: OK, I'll admit, some of the songs in this are half decent. In The Sun is a decent song despite clearly emulating Disney Princess I Want songs, the generic lyrics & being the Once Upon a December of this movie. A Princess After All is clearly a rip off of Learn To Do It with Vladimir teaching Anastasia how to be a princess, except it's nowhere near as fun or witty & just left me bored. Prince Charmless is just a generic villain's song about Paul revealing his evil plan with the Bolsheviks & who he really is.The final song, Be With Me in My Heart is just a very generic love song that Anastasia sings to the supposed dead Vladimir & is just boring to listen to. While they're not as terrible as other songs under UAV's belt, but they're still hopelessly generic & pointless

This movie just baffled me from beginning to end! Anastasia is a much more blatant Disney rip-off than Don Bluth's version with such a childish take on such a tragedy despite the few historical accuracies, lazy animation, generic characters & dull & pointless songs. Heck, even if you judge this movie just as a movie, it's still crap! Regardless of your opinion of Tsar Nicholas II & his family, I think we can agree that this really doesn't do the Romanovs any justice at all. If you try to see Don Bluth's take as more of a fairytale, I can asure you that you really will enjoy it much more thanks to the far more gorgeous animation, better characterization & highly memorable songs. Or better yet, why not take a look at the 1956 film that Don Bluth's movie was loosely based on or the upcoming Broadway stage adaptation if you're looking for a more serious take on the subject while using the urban legend! Well, that's one Anastasia movie done, another one to go...yay(!)
Story: 2/10
Animation: 3/10
Characters: 1/10
Songs: 3/10
Overall: 2/10

Disney Rip-Offs: Beauty and the Beast (1999)

Well, now it's time for the second animated rip off of Beauty & the Beast. Without help from GoodTimes Entertainment this time round, like I mentioned in my first Beauty and the Beast rip-off review, this was released in 1999. So...can a second time round of adapting the tale as old as time make up for last time, or is this equally as bad as the first time (or somehow even worse)? Let's just get over this shit-fest.

Story: Yet again, this story takes more elements from the original fariytale, but with a couple of changes including 3 ghosts commenting on the story, Beauty just having 3 sisters & diving more into the Beast's backstory. However, like before, none of these. While the last one was admittedly so bad in execution that at times it was funny, this was just annoying to sit through & it's mostly thanks to the attempts at comedy which end up feeling obnoxiously shoehorned. Another part of what makes this a drag to sit through is the sporadic pacing with no sense of segway or build-up into different scenes. This includes one massive plot hole as the 3 ghosts hide from the Beast in a freaking Beauty and the Beast book which the Beast himself reads showing the story despite the ghosts seemingly already being a part of the book's story! Trust me, it's as confusing as it sounds! Despite being about 48 minutes long, this felt like an eternity to watch thanks to the pointless padding rather it be through musical numbers (we'll get to them in a bit), pointless sequences & the aforementioned comedy. But what really makes all of this this worse is the non existent romance between Beauty and the Beast. While the first rip-off at the very least had a dance scene between the main couple, in this they never share any moments of chemistry or any tender/touching scenes before Beauty declares her love for him. All that happens between them is that they talk, she somehow angers him & he destroys a load of stuff. Rise & repeat. So overall, with little to no romance, pacing, segway & infuriating comedy, I can't even say this is so bad it's hilarious like the last time!

Animation: I will say that the animation is a bit of an improvement over the last one, but it's still pretty low by direct to video standards. The character designs again try to emulate Disney while having that basic & more cartoony flare (even if it feels like I'm watching moving Snap, Crackle & Pops throughout) & the Beast's design is much better than the ChewPumbaa last time despite obviously copying Disney's Beast. The character animation is an improvement as it does look much more fluid compared to last time & is admittedly creative on the ghosts despite clearly trying to 'emulate' the movements of the Genie from Aladdin. While the overall look is more polished compared to last time, there are still some obvious glicthes around like them clearly replaying animation footage (especially apparent in the ghost's big musical number), the camera & sets not moving in sync, poor interaction with the animation and backgrounds, derpy eyes & my favourite, poor lip synching, Speaking of, the backgrounds also don't really feel that creative on the castle & it doesn't really help almost all the movie takes place in it. Like I said, the animation is better than last time, but it still has those errors which prevent it from being anything better than OK.

Characters: As expected, the characters are all one dimensional with that single character trait & nothing else. Beauty is just as (if not more) boring & uninteresting as the last knock-off with absolutely no personality whatsoever other than liking gardening which is hardly dived into! The Beast is just grumpy & doesn't even really redeem himself or be nice towards Beauty before their declaration of love. While his backstory is dived into more by making him a jackass who left his subjects to starve to death (yes, really), this doesn't give him the sympathetic or even likeable edge like the Disney movie! The three Snap, Crackle & Pop ghosts are all just intolerable & annoying with their commentary on what's going on & needlessly butting in on the plot. Beauty's father in this is nowhere near as hilariously awful as the father in the last movie because he' s not as stupidly idiotic & doesn't really have anything special to him. The 3 sisters in this are pretty much bitchy versions of the seven dwarves from Snow White  with only one character trait like one loving food while inexplicably being skinny, one loving to sleep & one loving fashion. They don't have any redeeming qualities & they don't even have any development apologizing to Beauty after she saves the Beast from his curse. Yet again, all the characters in this just made the movie painful to watch for me because of how bland & annoying they all are.

Songs: Yep, there are songs in this & they are so...generic. They are pretty bad, don't get me wrong, but not really as intolerably insufferable as The Hunchback of Notre Dame's songs (except for one). The first one is just your typical I Want song from Beauty while she dreams for  her prince which turns into a duet with some very bizarre imagery which serves no purpose or establishes anything about her character. It sort of has that quality where it felt like it was supposed to be a breakout pop ballad duet from the Disney Renaissance & it really doesn't fit the movie. The second one is just about the 3 sisters singing about more of the materialistic things they want fitting with their character traits. It doesn't do anything else to show who they are despite the admittedly catchy tune & the execution of it is pretty bad. The last one is easily the worst sung by the ghosts which is an annoying cheesy pop song trying to emulate Be Our Guest to no avail as they prepare a banquet of food for Beauty's father when he arrives at the Beast's castle. And speaking of the soundtrack, this features classical music from the likes of Swan Lake and Nutcracker & it's especially jarring with the original songs, inconsistent genres & that the score is so associated with the aforementioned ballets! Most of them don't even fit the mood or atmosphere of the scene which just baffled me! So, with a very inconsistent soundtrack & pointless (while admittedly OK) songs, they just add more to the annoyance of a movie this really is!

This may be a tad better in terms of animation than the last one, but GoldenFilm's second outing of Beauty and the Beast still really falls flat because of the poorly executed story, numerous glitches, dull characters & confusingly inconsistent soundtrack. This was just painful & wasn't even so bad it was enjoyable like the previous film. I don't even think one is 'better' than the other because they're equally as bad mostly for the same reasons. Trust me, I feel so relieved now that I'm done with these Beauty and Beast rip-offs so I can go & watch Disney's version which is a million times better than those of these pieces of crap!
Story: 1/10
Animation: 3/10
Characters: 2/10
Songs: 2/10
Overall: 2/10

Disney Rip-Offs: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

*Sighs* We better just get this one out of the way! The second rip-off of the Victor Hugo classic after The Secret of the Hunchback, this was released as part of GoldenFilms Enchanted Tales collection (really...?) & was released as a direct to video movie the exact same year as Disney's adaptation of the book. So, is this movie as beautiful as the bells of Notre Dame chiming away, or is this a movie that's somehow even uglier than Frollo's heart from the Disney version? Let's. Take. A. Look.

Story: To say that this story is insulting to the original Victor Hugo novel is like saying that the animated Titanic trilogy (I still can't believe those exist) is insulting to the people who died in the Titanic disaster! This hardly resembles the story outside of the title, being set in France, gypsies being featured & a couple of characters. But even then, it rips off plenty of elements from other kids movies & lightens the tone up to the point that it blinds me (because kids can't take dark stuff, I guess?)! Anyway, there's absolutely no character development, atrocious antics that constitutes as 'comedy' based on stupid character traits & the pacing again, is way too rushed with so much padding. And that's not even going into the plot being so incoherent because the narrative is that messed up that it leaves barely any room for Quasimodo to actually contribute anything! Seriously, the movie decides to focus more on annoying musical instrument characters that follow Esmeralda-I mean Melody around & the fact that it's illegal to play music in the night (I'd much rather be watching Phantom of the Opera now) which is why discount Frollo is after them! But do you want to know the WORST thing about all of this is stupidity?! The ending! Yeah! Outside of the ridiculousness of the main plot, none of them will make me as angry as the stupidest, nonsensical, out of place, painful & screwed up ending I have EVER seen! It's easily the biggest fuck you to the novel, Victor Hugo & the message & purpose of Quasimodo's character! Even those who don't like Disney's version (I personally do like it despite the gargoyle's irritating presence), they should at the very least appreciate that it took risks with the intensely dark tone! Believe me when I say that this plot is as if not more stupid than The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2! Oh yeah! This is that bad!

Animation: Blah-blah-blah, the animation is crap, blah-blah-blah, what the fuck did you expect?! With numerous of errors galore, it feels like there was no animation director looking over everything! Filled with continuity errors that are right in your face (including colour & transition changes), atrocious lip synching that's somehow even worse than the past films (trust me, there are moments where the mouths either don't move at all while talking or leaving their mouths hanging open a'la Bella from Twilight!) & an overall lazier quality than the past films, this was just unpleasant to look at from start to finish. And remember when I mentioned that these movies would replay little bits of animation? Well, this takes it up to fucking 100 as they play a certain clip, not once, not twice, not thrice, but FOUR times & this is on top of flipping other clips & replaying them! Obviously the character animation is extremely choppy with absolutely no lighting or depth to them along with the childish & insulting character designs. And oddly enough, despite being set in freaking Paris, the backgrounds look awfully generic with absolutely no attention to detail into the architecture! *Sighs* This is probably the worst animation I've seen so far from Golden Films & this is REALLY saying a lot!

Yes, this is actually part of the movie

Characters: Despite being called 'The HUNCHBACK of Notre Dame', Quasimodo barely even appears, let alone contributes nothing to the plot! And he might as well be called 'Beau' because he's not even deformed except for not standing up straight & having his hair in the way of his face (until the stupid ending). Anyway, Esmeralda-I mean Melody is just a bland love interest despite having freaking magic. Oh yeah, and the discount Frollo, Jean-Claude, is literally just Gaston with a mustache that's after Melody & hates music! I know I've pointed out other times where they've ripped off various character designs from Disney, but not to this extent! Oh yeah, and he's such a stupid villain with a bad stereotypical French accent! Anyway side characters like Pierre is an annoying sidekick similar to LeFou, the Baron, Jean-Claude & Quasimodo's father (SPOILER ALERT, except I really don't care at this point) is just comic relief whose only character trait is that he's fat & loves to eat just like the stepsister from Jetlag's Cinderella and Melody's another who's just crazy & irritating. The musical characters never shut up & are infuriatingly annoying along with the 'animal sidekick' bats who plague the screen rather than who should really matter in the story. I am dead serious when I say that all of these characters made me feel like pulling my hair out!

Songs: Ugh, yep, this is a musical yet again & they're not even close to living up to the majesty & scale of Alan Menken's incredible music of the Disney version! None of them bring any insight to the characters & the plot, but are rather used to pad the movie & stop it from moving forward. The first one is just about the city of Paris by heavily relying on stereotypes & terrible puns, the second one is a stupid little 'love song' for Quasimodo & Melody which is irritating because of how much noise is cluttered in it! The third one that's just about Melody while she's in prison showing off her magic with her instrument friends & yet doesn't use it to escape which is also annoying filled with irritating background noise & in a genre that doesn't even fit the time setting! And the final one where it repeats the animation at the start has absolutely no purpose other than to pad the running time of this piece of crap even longer! So...I'm not even sure this can qualify as a musical, but e very single song is forgettable & annoying!

This is without a doubt the absolute worst adaptation of the Victor Hugo classic! The writing is lazy, nonsensical with the worst ending ever, the animation is beyond lazy, the characters are just stereotypes of stereotypes & not a single song lives up to the standards of the Disney movie. Please, DO NOT watch this film at all costs! And I know this may be a big statement, but this is possibly the absolute worst Disney knock-off I've watched so far! I just felt unclean watching this 50 minute movie (which felt like eternity because of how much padding there was) & to be honest, I just want to delete this out of my brain & send it to the bottomless pits of hell. It frankly amazes me that somebody greenlit this in the first place, let alone made it! FUCK! THIS! PIECE! OF! SHIT!
Story: 0/10
Animation: 1/10
Characters: 0/10
Songs: 1/10
Overall: 0/10
GOD, THIS MOVIE!!!

Disney Rip-Offs: Cinderella (Jetlag Productions)

Just to let you know, I am not doing this in any particular order because to be pretty frank, I just want to get all these rip-offs over & done with so I can get on with reviewing animated movies that are easier on the eyes. And there is another Cinderella animated rip-off movie which I shall review soon! Anyway, can Jetlag Productions just butcher Cinderella like the other 2 knock offs that I've reviewed, or will this actually manage to surprise me as much as a carriage made out of a pumpkin? Let's. Take. A. Look.

Story: Oddly enough, this isn't really a rip-off of the Disney version. It does change a few elements including keeping the father alive, the abuse starting when Cinderella was an adult (or at least a teenager in this) & the Fairy Godmother appearing to help her when the suffering starts rather than when she isn't allowed to go to the ball. And honestly, one of these elements actually did something better than the Disney version! No, really! And that is with the Fairy Godmother helping Cinderella when the abuse starts & because it fixed up a problem I had with the original story. But keep in mind I did say ONE because there are still numerous implausibilities & moments of the characters having no brain cells (which I'll get to in a bit). There's the obligatory rushed pacing because of the short running time which leaves the movie to be crammed with inconsistent narration, a couple of musical numbers which are ironically pointless & absolutely no development from any of the characters. And that's not even going into the plot holes mostly thanks to their stupidity & as a result, leaves no sense of emotion or even atmosphere in any of the scenes. Sure, there was one thing that made the plot make a bit more sense, but that doesn't negate the rest of this dull version of the story at all.

Animation: Yes, like all Disney knock-offs, the animation is more than subpar! What else did you expect by now even if we're only 3 movies in?! With the obligatory off model & basic character designs, it may look LESS Disney-esque than the past movies by looking a bit more cartoony & caricatured, but that isn't really saying much given that they didn't even try hiding that the Prince's design was 'inspired' by Disney's version. The character animation is of course choppy & uninspired (including Cinderella & the Prince literally spinning around in circles at the ball) and the backgrounds from the house & castle are very generic & dull to look at. And that's not even bringing up the animation errors like the obvious recycled clips, poor lip synching, continuity errors & frozen frames before scenes start. Oh yeah, and this time round the backgrounds & actual animation don't interact very well together & the 'effects' to put it bluntly, look crap! Unsurprisingly, the animation is pretty bad in this, but like I've said before, was good animation really what you were expecting from this crap?

Characters: Yes, like before, the characters are all just cardboard cutouts of stereotypes & it's just getting irritating now & I'm only 3 movies into this trite. Cinderella is just bland as expected with little to no intelligence that's as passive as the cinders that cover her even when she has everything to gain when the stepmother doesn't let her try on the slipper. The Evil Stepmother looks like a mix of Frankenstein's wife & Beetlejuice with bad botox who doesn't even hold a candle to Disney's version & is nowhere near as intimidating. It's pretty amazing actually how her new husband didn't suspect how obviously evil she was! As for the stepsisters, they only have one character trait with one being fashion obsessed despite her poor taste while the other is fat & loves to eat (which is pretty much the whole joke) & their antics are never once funny! The Fairy Godmother is also surprisingly pretty bland despite helping Cinderella with trolling her stepfamily, getting her to the ball & convincing her to sing down the chimney to get the Prince to bring her downstairs. And speaking of, the Prince is exactly the same as the Disney version: he's equally as bland as Cinderella except he's stupider because he whines about not knowing who she is or her name despite never once asking what it was while spinning around in a circle at the ball for more than an hour! The King & Queen are just the pushy parents trying to get their son to get married with the former mumbling throughout his entire appearance! Oh yeah, and there's a narrator that pops up from time to time who is irritatingly condescending & just tells us everything that hasn't been seen onscreen instead of actually showing us! What else is there to expect from the characters in these Disney knock-offs?! Do I really need to say anymore by this point?

Songs: Yep, this movie has songs in it unlike the other movies reviewed thus far. And yes, they all suck! The opening song is just a way to introduce Cinderella & what she wants & nothing else. Not only does it get repetitive fast, but the lyrics feel lazily put together, the sound mixing is terrible & even the singer sounds like she doesn't give a crap! The second one is just the stepsisters getting ready for the ball which is equally as repetitive with such basic lyrics & melody that it felt like a 5 year old with no musical ability came up with it on the spot! In fact, it came so late into this movie that it made me forget that this was a musical! Anyway, the third one is just the Prince & Cinderella singing about their love for one another in a dream/hallucination which is pretty much a lazier version of So This is Love from the Disney film. Oh yeah, and there's a reprise of it so she could let him know she was locked upstairs which he recognizes despite never actually hearing her sing! So...yeah! The songs really are the icing on the cake for how boring this movie was.

Cinderella is admittedly the least bad of the Disney rip offs I've forced myself to watch so far, but that doesn't mean it's good. In fact far from it. The story is dull, the animation is garbage even by the standards of the rip-offs I've watched so far, all the characters are one dimensional & boring & the songs are just lazy & pointless. I highly suggest you just skip this movie entirely & just watch the Disney version unless you want to find something so bad it's entertaining. Then again, there's the second Cinderella rip-off that I'll have to slug through...
Story: 4/10
Animation: 2/10
Characters: 2/10
Songs: 2/10
Overall:

Disney Rip-Offs: Beauty and the Beast (1992)

Yes, believe it or not, Golden Films actually made 2 animated rip-offs of Disney's 1991 classic, Beauty and the Beast! And like their knock-off of The Little Mermaid, this was also released back in 1992 while the other one (which I definitely shall review) was released in 1999. There really wasn't any facts that I could find for this film, so I might as well sink my teeth into it already for my & your sake! So, can GoldenFilms make the Jean LePrince classic as beautiful as a rose, or is the movie as ugly as the Beast's exterior? Let's. Take. A. Look.

Story: I'm not so sure this can actually qualify as a full on rip-off of the Disney version because this actually does take elements of the original fairytale, the most obvious being including Beauty's (yes, that's what they name her in this) siblings, making her father a merchant & none of the household objects appearing. But other than that, how does this movie hold up? Well...it doesn't (Big shock). Because of the additional scenes before Beauty takes her father's place at the castle, what really should be the focus feels too rushed and be left to the sidelines, leaving no real insight or development. And like mentioned, it oddly shows more of the Merchant making the deal with the Beast which leaves absolutely no room for development between Beauty & the Beast. And speaking of, the lack (or non existent) romance between Beauty & the Beast is easily the worst part of the film because they have absolutely no chemistry & both characters are so dull & boring! Despite apparently taking place within 6 months, they have no sense of pacing nor a true sense of getting to know one another because as mentioned before, the movie decides not to dive into the romance that should have driven the plot! So is there anything good to say about the story? Well...I will say that some scenes rather it be the animation (which I'll get to in a moment), awful voice acting & the utter stupidity of the plot did leave me chuckling a bit at how ludicrous it all was. But keep in mind that it was SOME scenes because I was left bored during the majority of this mess of a film. Add in numerous plot holes that are never acknowledged, the most pointless & laziest conflict I have ever seen, this movie feels less beautiful than a wilting rose.

Animation: Like The Little Mermaid, the animation isn't really the best. To be honest, this is a tad worse. And by that I mean this movie is filled with numerous errors like derpy faces, characters barely emoting, choppy character animation, poor lip synching & dull backgrounds. It does absolutely nothing to make it stand out compared to the grandure of the Disney film & just looks soulless & generic. And yet again, the character designs try to rip off Disney while being a tad more basic & cartoony & are sometimes duplicating designs of characters because of how lazy they really are up to the point that there's no lighting or sense of depth to them & that yet again, they're left looking off model. Seriously, I'm surprised that somebody thought it was OK to approve of this incompetent animation before distributing it! I know animation is mostly dependent on budget, but clearly it was a case of getting this over & done with before the (presumably very short) deadline. And to be honest, I don't really blame the animators for not putting any effort into this crap, Actually thinking about it, that makes much more sense with why the animation is bad in these movies...Anyway, I don't think I need to say anything else to explain why the animation is atrocious in this because I think the pictures kindly provided from yours truly speaks for itself!

Characters: As expected, none of the characters here have the same charm or dimension as their Disney counterparts (of which there is few this time round). Beauty is just a doormat with a very questionable intelligence given how much she's willing to believe, her numerous blank expressions & is nowhere near as interesting or likable as the far superior Belle. The Beast is no better since his only character trait is that he yells a lot & looks like a mix of Pumbaa & a deformed Chewbacca with no actual change or development. Oh yeah, and he seems to save separation anxiety given that he'd apparently die of loneliness if Beauty didn't return to him! Why? Well, the movie clearly doesn't want to know either! As for Beauty's father...yeah, there's a reason why Phelous made him into a meme! He's stupidly incompetent up to the point that he feels like he has no brain cells because of his skewed opinions on what's going on like immediately assuming he was expected at the castle just because there was a feast full of food in the dining room! Yeah, safe to say that he's no Maurice! Beauty's siblings are just generic one dimensional annoyances with the sisters Pauline & Alicia clearly ripping off the stepsisters from Cinderella & her brothers Nathan & Robert looking like Prince Eric & convincing Beauty to let the Beast die despite knowing nothing about him. In place of all the quirky household objects, we instead have the housekeeper Clara, a blatant Mrs Potts rip-off who may have a few funny one liners because of how much she doesn't seem to give a crap, but she also has a puzzling running gag about confusing windows for doors & vice versa that I'm surprised she accidentally hasn't thrown herself off a building yet! And the Enchantress in this one is just the villain who only appears in a grand total of 3 scenes with absolutely no motives or personality other than wanting the Beast dead for no reason! And yes, like The Little Mermaid, none of these characters are worth caring about or getting to know

All I can describe this movie is just soulless. Even if it's more of an adaptation of the original fairytale & there were a couple of so bad it's hilarious moments thanks to the inconsistent animation, it doesn't do anything to make it stand out from Disney's far superior version. With rushed writing with no depth or development, lazy animation & boring one dimensional characters, it was absolutely painful to watch from start to finish. If you really want to look at a Beauty and the Beast movie that's a direct adaptation of the original story, then I suggest you look at either the 1946 Jean Cocteau movie which is much better representation of the story & characters with gorgeous direction & fantastical visuals or the 2014 adaptation for those looking for a more modern version which is equally as beautiful to watch.
Story: 2/10
Animation: 1/10
Characters: 1/10
Overall: 1/10

Disney Rip Offs: The Little Mermaid

Yes, I shall finally be looking at several Disney knock-offs, specifically from the infamous Golden Films Studios (also known as Goodtimes Entertainment)! And no, I won't be looking at the Video Brinquedo movies quite yet because that would be way too many to do all at once! To be honest, there really isn't much facts about this movie other than that this was released in 1992 obviously meant to cash in on Disney's 1989 phenomenal blockbuster The Little Mermaid! And after lawsuits involving their versions of Beauty and the Beast, the company had to show their logo on the covers of their movies to prevent them from tricking customers into thinking that their movie was Disney's infinitely more popular version. So will GoldenFilm's version of the Hans Christian Andersen tale be as fun as Ariel's under the sea adventure, or should this be washed away like the sands of time? Let's. Take. A. Look.

Story: As predicted, this is a rip off of Disney's version of the Hans Christian Andersen tale with a few changes here & there. However, none are for the better because the pacing & 'emotional' stakes in this are virtually non-existent! It is incredibly slow up to the point that what should have been the middle when Lena turns into a human by Cassandra (yeah, great name choice!) is instead near the end & literally every scene feels like it's taking forever. They never give time to actually do something while waiting for the next turn of the plot to show up sporadically & yet it still does nothing to give us insight to the characters! I guess it does have more references to the original fairytale & a tad of self awareness, but all of that is completely negated by the stupidity of the characters & how abrupt scenes are because the movie never takes time to explain the premise nor give us any context. It just immediately assumes you know the Disney movie (bear in mind this was released 3 years after Disney's take) & that's all you need going into this! And unlike the Disney movie (besides the soundtrack bizarrely being various pieces of classical music for no apparent reason), the romance between Lena & Stephan NEVER gives them a sense of actual love or even chemistry. It's literally she saves him, they meet when she's human, a brief conflict (this time with an arranged marriage to another princess which is quickly resolved) & then they get married without a single word of dialogue between them! Seriously, even freaking Disney's Snow White & her Prince at the very least had a song between them before they declared their true love! When one of the most underdeveloped Disney couples ever has more of a romance than this mess, you know you're in trouble! Anyway, the direction, pacing, story & 'emotions' of are just an absolute farce & the best word to describe this movie is...boring!

Animation: As expected given that it was direct to video, the animation quality reflects that. It looks like a Saturday morning cartoon, except a bit worse & while I don't want to blame the animators themselves because of the quality, it's still pretty clear that they wanted this quickly done. The character designs clearly try to 'emulate' Disney rather it be with their colour scheme (except for Lena for obvious reasons) or the way they're drawn except they're much more basic & it gets frustrating because the character models can change scene after scene or even during cuts (and with duplicates as background characters). The relationship between the character animation and backgrounds is virtually non-existent up to the point that the merfolk look more like they're floating in mid-air rather than swimming or whenever they walk, the backgrounds don't sync together with the speed of them. And yes, it does look glitchy sometimes when the characters move & it doesn't really help that the lip syncing is very off & they don't sometimes even convey the emotions of the voice actor i.e. looking happy when sounding angry! Add in no sense of depth of lighting, badly painted & designed backgrounds & replaying little clips to drag the running time, the animation in this can just be qualified as lazy.

Characters: If you thought the story was a rip off of the Disney version, then you haven't seen anything yet with these characters. Princess Lena, the titular mermaid in this, is just a 'bubbly' cretin that's bland & irritating with absolutely no development or likeablity. Yes, I may have a few problems with Ariel (in particular her selfishness), but at the very least she had something called a personality, her enthusiastic nature did have a limit & she actually acknowledged whenever she had made mistakes! The dolphin Vink (I think that's his name) is just a rip-off of Flounder & this time round is Lena's royal pet who follows her around, goes along with what she wants, constantly worries & tries to convince her not to act like a brat & do the right thing. Cassandra is the Ursula rip-off but instead is part eel & unlike the latter, doesn't even appear let alone get mentioned after she transforms Lena into a human & explains the consequences of what would happen to her if the Prince didn't marry her. It doesn't really help that her motives for being evil are barely explained & she's pretty much only there for Lena to find a way to become human & for the movie to have a bad guy! Prince Stephan (obviously the Prince Eric expy) has absolutely no personality at all either & his character design is so much like Eric that they didn't even try to hide it! Lena's sisters do appear a bit more compared to the Disney movie, with Tris being the most prominent one, yet she's just the generic loving sister. The Sea King is the Triton expy both in design & the character trait of just yelling at his daughter being all overprotective & is the one to cause the conflict at the end for no apparent reason. Yes, there are a couple of other characters like the discount Grimsby & Princess Anna (not from Arendelle thankfully), those 2 bird friends & discount Flotsam & Jetsam, but they don't have personalities either so there's really no point in discussing them. Every single character either has one character trait or none whatsoever & they really are the most grating part of this dull & lifeless movie!

The Little Mermaid is easily the most boring adaptation of the story. Even if there are a few bits that are different (although not so subtly), it's undoubtedly a copy of the Disney version except with no emotions, depth or charm. The story just drags on with no context, the animation is lazy & the characters have absolutely no dimensionality to them. It's just a soulless cashgrabber meant to fool people into buying this over Disney's far superior version which has much more appealing & dimensional characters, stunning animation, unforgettable songs & an actual engaging plot! I don't even think I need to say to skip this film & watch the Disney version over it because this is just a massive waste of time! How I feel sorry for the poor clueless people that bought this back in the 90s...
Story: 2/10
Animation: 2/10
Characters: 1/10
Overall: 2/10

The Seventh Dwarf

Released back in 2014, this German made animated film was the final work for director by Harold Siepermann, an animator who helped work on various Disney projects like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Tarzan & Enchanted, before he sadly died of cancer. However, in a very interesting fact, this is actually the third film out of a trilogy of movies about the Seven Dwarves made back in 2004 & 2006 & is the first of the bunch to be animated. Even the actors who portrayed the dwarves in the live action films returned to voice their animated counterparts! And speaking of actors, the version I watched & shall be reviewing is the second English dub so Peyton List & Norm Macdonald don't voice Rose or Burner (not that it's gonna change my thoughts on the characters). So will this movie be able to be seven times the fun, or is it as insufferable as the seven deadly sins? Let's take a look!

Story: Right off the bat, I think anyone can already guess that this is trying to be something like Shrek with the set up of a fairytale crossover filled with anachronistic jokes & low brow humour. And you'd most definitely be right, except, like other Shrek rip-offs i.e. Happily N'Ever After, it doesn't do anything to make it stand out or bring any charm. Nothing in this can be considered original nor even interesting or funny because there is little to no focus! The story itself is your generic quest to save a cursed princess with wacky shenanigans along the way, but this time with the Seven Dwarves from Snow White helping kitchen boy Jack save his one true love Rose. It feels very predictable & by the book & throughout, I felt like the movie thought if it 'emulated' other fairytales to create Rose's story (a mix of Snow White & Sleeping Beauty with a curse being that she'll fall asleep for 100 years if she pricks her finger on ANYTHING before she turns 18. I'm sure there's an innuendo in there somewhere), then it would be 'original'. And as expected, it doesn't! The humour feels forced with its attempts at 'funny' slapstick, your typical low brow humor & the worst of the bunch, shoehorned references to pop culture & modern technology (including an incredibly obnoxious parody to YouTube of all things). And like mentioned before, this movie has little to no knowledge of who it wants to focus on, let alone what kind of movie it wants to be! Seriously, one minute it'll go into detail on Rose's story/curse via exposition narration, and then the next, it's all about Bobo the dwarf trying not to screw things up for everyone or Dellamorta cursing the kingdom! It doesn't really help that the stupid morals are condescendingly shoved in your face through pointless & lazily put together musical numbers & the pacing is so off that the incredibly slow anticlimactic token battle lasts about 10 minutes! And of course, the movie leaves little room to flesh out the characters, part of which made the aforementioned Shrek appealing in the first place despite the numerous pop culture & fairytale spoofs & has gaping plot holes which are not once acknowledged. It definitely qualifies as a poor man's Shrek like past attempts of the formula, and it's equally as cliched, obnoxious & bloated. I know I may not sound as angry as back when I reviewed Happily N'Ever After, but what else did you expect going into this?

Surprised that Youtube didn't file a lawsuit over this!

Animation: I think it's also clear from the pictures that the animation...isn't the best to say the least!  The character designs do attempt to make it like Disney except a little more cartoony (and generic) & it really doesn't work because there's no attention to detail put into the textures! Seriously, they all have uncanny valley dead eyes & some characters like Bobo look like something out of a Mr Tetley's Tea package or Jack looks more like a 12 year old kid than a guy in his late teens! And speaking of textures, both this & the effects like the magic, fire & various materials are very inconsistent from looking 'passable' to downright lazy. The character animation admittedly isn't that bad, but it can still look a bit too over the top & stiff for the type of characters they're trying to be. The backgrounds of Fantabularasa also rips off plenty of elements from better CGI movies up to the point that Dellamorta's ice palace looks uncannily similar to Elsa's ice palace. I will admit that the lighting & some of the locations do sort of help with the scale of the kingdom, but all of them come across as generic & bland. Another thing I would like to mention is that the movie does use 2D animation at the start for the movie as childish drawings to explain Rose's curse & it admittedly made the movie have a little promise (even if I already knew it was going to be bad & it still looks pretty bad). I'm not saying that it's the absolute worst CGI I've ever seen for an animated film, but it's still very...subpar by cinematic standards.

Characters: I know I wasn't as angry when talking about the story of this movie, but let me tell you that the characters make my blood boil with their stupidity & obnoxiousness! The dwarves (to be honest, I don't even remember their names except for the supposed main character Bobo) barely have personalities or chemistry with each other & are so boring that it made me scratch my head with why the movie wanted to focus on them. And like I mentioned, despite a lack of focus over who the movie is about, Bobo is given more 'development' thanks to his confusing arc about not being able to tie his shoelaces & fixing his mistake over causing Rose to be cursed. Oh yeah, and he's a walking disaster, I forgot to mention that! Princess Rose is my candidate for the absolute worst princess character ever invented! Other than being portrayed as sexist as a housewife from the 50s, she just acts like a dumb valley girl & can qualify more as a plot device due to her sleeping curse. She has no development, isn't interesting & is more than willing to let the love of her life save her rather than attempting to save herself or the kingdom. The villain, Dellamorta, is just a rip-off of infinitely better Disney villains with her 'motive' for cursing Rose being...she was in love with the king & he dumped her. Do they ever dive into their past & why he dumped her? Do they ever portray her as sympathetic or at the very least 2 dimensional? Do they squander the numerous possibilities with this character in favor of making her evil for just being evil & making her sound like a cross between Gollum & Harvey Fierstein except more annoying? Well, the answer to the last one is yes with no shame! Anyway, Jack, Rose's 'love interest' is just an absolute idiot without any redeeming qualities (or brain cells) because of his habit of not keeping his mouth shut in vital situations! The side characters are no better, either being Shrek rip-offs (including Puss in Boots' character design being 'borrowed' in this cameo) or one dimensional & equally as sexist like Snow White being an equally as dumb bimbo clad in a miniskirt who only appears in one scene or Red Riding Hood & the Big Bad Wolf as TV hosts with the sexual undertones of their original story being more glaringly obvious. And this is not dissimilar to rap artists Herman & Sherman who the dwarves meet in their quest & are just there to be 'comic relief' as racist stereotypes & are never seen again nor mentioned afterwards! Literally, the only character that can qualify as interesting is Burner (or Burnie), Dellamorta's dragon minion who really yearns to be a tap-dancer and ends up helping the dwarves & Jack in their quest to save Rose. But the downside to him is his arc is barely acknowledged & he does resort to being used for plot cliches and can have times of questionable intelligence. This is without a doubt the worst part of this movie because none of these characters are worth getting to know, let alone caring about or rooting for!

Seriously, even Kristen Stewart's Snow White in Snow White & the Huntsman was a better representation of the character!

Songs: Like mentioned before, this is a musical & they really are showstoppers...in that they stop the plot & make it feel like it's taking forever! None of them have any significance to the story nor the characters about who they are or how they're feeling about the situation going on.  I Not only that, but they're also very inconsistent with the genre ranging from Disney-esque Broadway (except incredibly lazy both in quality & execution) or modern pop to be 'fo sheezy hip dog!' or rap! Anyway, the first one is just about the dwarves baking a cake for Princess Rose's birthday which serves no purpose after Bobo destroys it & is easily forgiven. The second is an obnoxious pop song during Rose's birthday party used as ear bleeding background noise, the third is the generic villain's song with Dellamorta just spouting out her motive in the slowest & most obvious way possible without diving into her relationship with the king. The fourth is an obnoxious rap number by Herman & Sherman which is also pointless & shoved down our throats, the fifth one is just a song all about friendship being good as an apology to Bernie from Bobo to stop him from committing suicide (yes, really) which just obnoxiously talks down to the audience about the moral and the last one is the most obvious attempt at a Disney-esque love song (as well as the leitmotif of the movie) which is just banal & boring. I can't even be bothered going into the end credits songs because one is just repetitive with lyrics pretty much saying that being short is good sung by Dellamorta's voice actress! All of these songs feel as artificial as the rest of this & are without a doubt the cherry on the top for how dull & banal this movie really is.

So...what was the point of this movie? The Seventh Dwarf feels like something that was shelved about 10 years ago & put back into production to cash in on much popular CGI fairytale movies. The writing is lazy with no focus, the animation may not be the worst CGI I've ever seen yet is very inconsistent, the characters are all one dimensional with little to no common sense & the songs just feel like they were added in at the last minute. I'm not even sure who I can recommend this for because I think even children will be bored by this like I was (seriously, I cared more about making my lunch when I was watching this & nearly fell asleep) & they should just stick to the much better & smarter movies that have been out recently. While it may work as its own stand-alone movie compared to it's live action predecessors & is admittedly a tad less insufferable to watch as Happily N'Ever After, that still really doesn't make it worth watching.
Story: 2/10
Animation: 4/10
Characters: 1/10
Songs: 2/10
Overall: 2/10