Disney Rip-Offs: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

*Sighs* We better just get this one out of the way! The second rip-off of the Victor Hugo classic after The Secret of the Hunchback, this was released as part of GoldenFilms Enchanted Tales collection (really...?) & was released as a direct to video movie the exact same year as Disney's adaptation of the book. So, is this movie as beautiful as the bells of Notre Dame chiming away, or is this a movie that's somehow even uglier than Frollo's heart from the Disney version? Let's. Take. A. Look.

Story: To say that this story is insulting to the original Victor Hugo novel is like saying that the animated Titanic trilogy (I still can't believe those exist) is insulting to the people who died in the Titanic disaster! This hardly resembles the story outside of the title, being set in France, gypsies being featured & a couple of characters. But even then, it rips off plenty of elements from other kids movies & lightens the tone up to the point that it blinds me (because kids can't take dark stuff, I guess?)! Anyway, there's absolutely no character development, atrocious antics that constitutes as 'comedy' based on stupid character traits & the pacing again, is way too rushed with so much padding. And that's not even going into the plot being so incoherent because the narrative is that messed up that it leaves barely any room for Quasimodo to actually contribute anything! Seriously, the movie decides to focus more on annoying musical instrument characters that follow Esmeralda-I mean Melody around & the fact that it's illegal to play music in the night (I'd much rather be watching Phantom of the Opera now) which is why discount Frollo is after them! But do you want to know the WORST thing about all of this is stupidity?! The ending! Yeah! Outside of the ridiculousness of the main plot, none of them will make me as angry as the stupidest, nonsensical, out of place, painful & screwed up ending I have EVER seen! It's easily the biggest fuck you to the novel, Victor Hugo & the message & purpose of Quasimodo's character! Even those who don't like Disney's version (I personally do like it despite the gargoyle's irritating presence), they should at the very least appreciate that it took risks with the intensely dark tone! Believe me when I say that this plot is as if not more stupid than The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2! Oh yeah! This is that bad!

Animation: Blah-blah-blah, the animation is crap, blah-blah-blah, what the fuck did you expect?! With numerous of errors galore, it feels like there was no animation director looking over everything! Filled with continuity errors that are right in your face (including colour & transition changes), atrocious lip synching that's somehow even worse than the past films (trust me, there are moments where the mouths either don't move at all while talking or leaving their mouths hanging open a'la Bella from Twilight!) & an overall lazier quality than the past films, this was just unpleasant to look at from start to finish. And remember when I mentioned that these movies would replay little bits of animation? Well, this takes it up to fucking 100 as they play a certain clip, not once, not twice, not thrice, but FOUR times & this is on top of flipping other clips & replaying them! Obviously the character animation is extremely choppy with absolutely no lighting or depth to them along with the childish & insulting character designs. And oddly enough, despite being set in freaking Paris, the backgrounds look awfully generic with absolutely no attention to detail into the architecture! *Sighs* This is probably the worst animation I've seen so far from Golden Films & this is REALLY saying a lot!

Yes, this is actually part of the movie

Characters: Despite being called 'The HUNCHBACK of Notre Dame', Quasimodo barely even appears, let alone contributes nothing to the plot! And he might as well be called 'Beau' because he's not even deformed except for not standing up straight & having his hair in the way of his face (until the stupid ending). Anyway, Esmeralda-I mean Melody is just a bland love interest despite having freaking magic. Oh yeah, and the discount Frollo, Jean-Claude, is literally just Gaston with a mustache that's after Melody & hates music! I know I've pointed out other times where they've ripped off various character designs from Disney, but not to this extent! Oh yeah, and he's such a stupid villain with a bad stereotypical French accent! Anyway side characters like Pierre is an annoying sidekick similar to LeFou, the Baron, Jean-Claude & Quasimodo's father (SPOILER ALERT, except I really don't care at this point) is just comic relief whose only character trait is that he's fat & loves to eat just like the stepsister from Jetlag's Cinderella and Melody's another who's just crazy & irritating. The musical characters never shut up & are infuriatingly annoying along with the 'animal sidekick' bats who plague the screen rather than who should really matter in the story. I am dead serious when I say that all of these characters made me feel like pulling my hair out!

Songs: Ugh, yep, this is a musical yet again & they're not even close to living up to the majesty & scale of Alan Menken's incredible music of the Disney version! None of them bring any insight to the characters & the plot, but are rather used to pad the movie & stop it from moving forward. The first one is just about the city of Paris by heavily relying on stereotypes & terrible puns, the second one is a stupid little 'love song' for Quasimodo & Melody which is irritating because of how much noise is cluttered in it! The third one that's just about Melody while she's in prison showing off her magic with her instrument friends & yet doesn't use it to escape which is also annoying filled with irritating background noise & in a genre that doesn't even fit the time setting! And the final one where it repeats the animation at the start has absolutely no purpose other than to pad the running time of this piece of crap even longer! So...I'm not even sure this can qualify as a musical, but e very single song is forgettable & annoying!

This is without a doubt the absolute worst adaptation of the Victor Hugo classic! The writing is lazy, nonsensical with the worst ending ever, the animation is beyond lazy, the characters are just stereotypes of stereotypes & not a single song lives up to the standards of the Disney movie. Please, DO NOT watch this film at all costs! And I know this may be a big statement, but this is possibly the absolute worst Disney knock-off I've watched so far! I just felt unclean watching this 50 minute movie (which felt like eternity because of how much padding there was) & to be honest, I just want to delete this out of my brain & send it to the bottomless pits of hell. It frankly amazes me that somebody greenlit this in the first place, let alone made it! FUCK! THIS! PIECE! OF! SHIT!
Story: 0/10
Animation: 1/10
Characters: 0/10
Songs: 1/10
Overall: 0/10
GOD, THIS MOVIE!!!

Disney Rip-Offs: Cinderella (Jetlag Productions)

Just to let you know, I am not doing this in any particular order because to be pretty frank, I just want to get all these rip-offs over & done with so I can get on with reviewing animated movies that are easier on the eyes. And there is another Cinderella animated rip-off movie which I shall review soon! Anyway, can Jetlag Productions just butcher Cinderella like the other 2 knock offs that I've reviewed, or will this actually manage to surprise me as much as a carriage made out of a pumpkin? Let's. Take. A. Look.

Story: Oddly enough, this isn't really a rip-off of the Disney version. It does change a few elements including keeping the father alive, the abuse starting when Cinderella was an adult (or at least a teenager in this) & the Fairy Godmother appearing to help her when the suffering starts rather than when she isn't allowed to go to the ball. And honestly, one of these elements actually did something better than the Disney version! No, really! And that is with the Fairy Godmother helping Cinderella when the abuse starts & because it fixed up a problem I had with the original story. But keep in mind I did say ONE because there are still numerous implausibilities & moments of the characters having no brain cells (which I'll get to in a bit). There's the obligatory rushed pacing because of the short running time which leaves the movie to be crammed with inconsistent narration, a couple of musical numbers which are ironically pointless & absolutely no development from any of the characters. And that's not even going into the plot holes mostly thanks to their stupidity & as a result, leaves no sense of emotion or even atmosphere in any of the scenes. Sure, there was one thing that made the plot make a bit more sense, but that doesn't negate the rest of this dull version of the story at all.

Animation: Yes, like all Disney knock-offs, the animation is more than subpar! What else did you expect by now even if we're only 3 movies in?! With the obligatory off model & basic character designs, it may look LESS Disney-esque than the past movies by looking a bit more cartoony & caricatured, but that isn't really saying much given that they didn't even try hiding that the Prince's design was 'inspired' by Disney's version. The character animation is of course choppy & uninspired (including Cinderella & the Prince literally spinning around in circles at the ball) and the backgrounds from the house & castle are very generic & dull to look at. And that's not even bringing up the animation errors like the obvious recycled clips, poor lip synching, continuity errors & frozen frames before scenes start. Oh yeah, and this time round the backgrounds & actual animation don't interact very well together & the 'effects' to put it bluntly, look crap! Unsurprisingly, the animation is pretty bad in this, but like I've said before, was good animation really what you were expecting from this crap?

Characters: Yes, like before, the characters are all just cardboard cutouts of stereotypes & it's just getting irritating now & I'm only 3 movies into this trite. Cinderella is just bland as expected with little to no intelligence that's as passive as the cinders that cover her even when she has everything to gain when the stepmother doesn't let her try on the slipper. The Evil Stepmother looks like a mix of Frankenstein's wife & Beetlejuice with bad botox who doesn't even hold a candle to Disney's version & is nowhere near as intimidating. It's pretty amazing actually how her new husband didn't suspect how obviously evil she was! As for the stepsisters, they only have one character trait with one being fashion obsessed despite her poor taste while the other is fat & loves to eat (which is pretty much the whole joke) & their antics are never once funny! The Fairy Godmother is also surprisingly pretty bland despite helping Cinderella with trolling her stepfamily, getting her to the ball & convincing her to sing down the chimney to get the Prince to bring her downstairs. And speaking of, the Prince is exactly the same as the Disney version: he's equally as bland as Cinderella except he's stupider because he whines about not knowing who she is or her name despite never once asking what it was while spinning around in a circle at the ball for more than an hour! The King & Queen are just the pushy parents trying to get their son to get married with the former mumbling throughout his entire appearance! Oh yeah, and there's a narrator that pops up from time to time who is irritatingly condescending & just tells us everything that hasn't been seen onscreen instead of actually showing us! What else is there to expect from the characters in these Disney knock-offs?! Do I really need to say anymore by this point?

Songs: Yep, this movie has songs in it unlike the other movies reviewed thus far. And yes, they all suck! The opening song is just a way to introduce Cinderella & what she wants & nothing else. Not only does it get repetitive fast, but the lyrics feel lazily put together, the sound mixing is terrible & even the singer sounds like she doesn't give a crap! The second one is just the stepsisters getting ready for the ball which is equally as repetitive with such basic lyrics & melody that it felt like a 5 year old with no musical ability came up with it on the spot! In fact, it came so late into this movie that it made me forget that this was a musical! Anyway, the third one is just the Prince & Cinderella singing about their love for one another in a dream/hallucination which is pretty much a lazier version of So This is Love from the Disney film. Oh yeah, and there's a reprise of it so she could let him know she was locked upstairs which he recognizes despite never actually hearing her sing! So...yeah! The songs really are the icing on the cake for how boring this movie was.

Cinderella is admittedly the least bad of the Disney rip offs I've forced myself to watch so far, but that doesn't mean it's good. In fact far from it. The story is dull, the animation is garbage even by the standards of the rip-offs I've watched so far, all the characters are one dimensional & boring & the songs are just lazy & pointless. I highly suggest you just skip this movie entirely & just watch the Disney version unless you want to find something so bad it's entertaining. Then again, there's the second Cinderella rip-off that I'll have to slug through...
Story: 4/10
Animation: 2/10
Characters: 2/10
Songs: 2/10
Overall:

Disney Rip-Offs: Beauty and the Beast (1992)

Yes, believe it or not, Golden Films actually made 2 animated rip-offs of Disney's 1991 classic, Beauty and the Beast! And like their knock-off of The Little Mermaid, this was also released back in 1992 while the other one (which I definitely shall review) was released in 1999. There really wasn't any facts that I could find for this film, so I might as well sink my teeth into it already for my & your sake! So, can GoldenFilms make the Jean LePrince classic as beautiful as a rose, or is the movie as ugly as the Beast's exterior? Let's. Take. A. Look.

Story: I'm not so sure this can actually qualify as a full on rip-off of the Disney version because this actually does take elements of the original fairytale, the most obvious being including Beauty's (yes, that's what they name her in this) siblings, making her father a merchant & none of the household objects appearing. But other than that, how does this movie hold up? Well...it doesn't (Big shock). Because of the additional scenes before Beauty takes her father's place at the castle, what really should be the focus feels too rushed and be left to the sidelines, leaving no real insight or development. And like mentioned, it oddly shows more of the Merchant making the deal with the Beast which leaves absolutely no room for development between Beauty & the Beast. And speaking of, the lack (or non existent) romance between Beauty & the Beast is easily the worst part of the film because they have absolutely no chemistry & both characters are so dull & boring! Despite apparently taking place within 6 months, they have no sense of pacing nor a true sense of getting to know one another because as mentioned before, the movie decides not to dive into the romance that should have driven the plot! So is there anything good to say about the story? Well...I will say that some scenes rather it be the animation (which I'll get to in a moment), awful voice acting & the utter stupidity of the plot did leave me chuckling a bit at how ludicrous it all was. But keep in mind that it was SOME scenes because I was left bored during the majority of this mess of a film. Add in numerous plot holes that are never acknowledged, the most pointless & laziest conflict I have ever seen, this movie feels less beautiful than a wilting rose.

Animation: Like The Little Mermaid, the animation isn't really the best. To be honest, this is a tad worse. And by that I mean this movie is filled with numerous errors like derpy faces, characters barely emoting, choppy character animation, poor lip synching & dull backgrounds. It does absolutely nothing to make it stand out compared to the grandure of the Disney film & just looks soulless & generic. And yet again, the character designs try to rip off Disney while being a tad more basic & cartoony & are sometimes duplicating designs of characters because of how lazy they really are up to the point that there's no lighting or sense of depth to them & that yet again, they're left looking off model. Seriously, I'm surprised that somebody thought it was OK to approve of this incompetent animation before distributing it! I know animation is mostly dependent on budget, but clearly it was a case of getting this over & done with before the (presumably very short) deadline. And to be honest, I don't really blame the animators for not putting any effort into this crap, Actually thinking about it, that makes much more sense with why the animation is bad in these movies...Anyway, I don't think I need to say anything else to explain why the animation is atrocious in this because I think the pictures kindly provided from yours truly speaks for itself!

Characters: As expected, none of the characters here have the same charm or dimension as their Disney counterparts (of which there is few this time round). Beauty is just a doormat with a very questionable intelligence given how much she's willing to believe, her numerous blank expressions & is nowhere near as interesting or likable as the far superior Belle. The Beast is no better since his only character trait is that he yells a lot & looks like a mix of Pumbaa & a deformed Chewbacca with no actual change or development. Oh yeah, and he seems to save separation anxiety given that he'd apparently die of loneliness if Beauty didn't return to him! Why? Well, the movie clearly doesn't want to know either! As for Beauty's father...yeah, there's a reason why Phelous made him into a meme! He's stupidly incompetent up to the point that he feels like he has no brain cells because of his skewed opinions on what's going on like immediately assuming he was expected at the castle just because there was a feast full of food in the dining room! Yeah, safe to say that he's no Maurice! Beauty's siblings are just generic one dimensional annoyances with the sisters Pauline & Alicia clearly ripping off the stepsisters from Cinderella & her brothers Nathan & Robert looking like Prince Eric & convincing Beauty to let the Beast die despite knowing nothing about him. In place of all the quirky household objects, we instead have the housekeeper Clara, a blatant Mrs Potts rip-off who may have a few funny one liners because of how much she doesn't seem to give a crap, but she also has a puzzling running gag about confusing windows for doors & vice versa that I'm surprised she accidentally hasn't thrown herself off a building yet! And the Enchantress in this one is just the villain who only appears in a grand total of 3 scenes with absolutely no motives or personality other than wanting the Beast dead for no reason! And yes, like The Little Mermaid, none of these characters are worth caring about or getting to know

All I can describe this movie is just soulless. Even if it's more of an adaptation of the original fairytale & there were a couple of so bad it's hilarious moments thanks to the inconsistent animation, it doesn't do anything to make it stand out from Disney's far superior version. With rushed writing with no depth or development, lazy animation & boring one dimensional characters, it was absolutely painful to watch from start to finish. If you really want to look at a Beauty and the Beast movie that's a direct adaptation of the original story, then I suggest you look at either the 1946 Jean Cocteau movie which is much better representation of the story & characters with gorgeous direction & fantastical visuals or the 2014 adaptation for those looking for a more modern version which is equally as beautiful to watch.
Story: 2/10
Animation: 1/10
Characters: 1/10
Overall: 1/10

Disney Rip Offs: The Little Mermaid

Yes, I shall finally be looking at several Disney knock-offs, specifically from the infamous Golden Films Studios (also known as Goodtimes Entertainment)! And no, I won't be looking at the Video Brinquedo movies quite yet because that would be way too many to do all at once! To be honest, there really isn't much facts about this movie other than that this was released in 1992 obviously meant to cash in on Disney's 1989 phenomenal blockbuster The Little Mermaid! And after lawsuits involving their versions of Beauty and the Beast, the company had to show their logo on the covers of their movies to prevent them from tricking customers into thinking that their movie was Disney's infinitely more popular version. So will GoldenFilm's version of the Hans Christian Andersen tale be as fun as Ariel's under the sea adventure, or should this be washed away like the sands of time? Let's. Take. A. Look.

Story: As predicted, this is a rip off of Disney's version of the Hans Christian Andersen tale with a few changes here & there. However, none are for the better because the pacing & 'emotional' stakes in this are virtually non-existent! It is incredibly slow up to the point that what should have been the middle when Lena turns into a human by Cassandra (yeah, great name choice!) is instead near the end & literally every scene feels like it's taking forever. They never give time to actually do something while waiting for the next turn of the plot to show up sporadically & yet it still does nothing to give us insight to the characters! I guess it does have more references to the original fairytale & a tad of self awareness, but all of that is completely negated by the stupidity of the characters & how abrupt scenes are because the movie never takes time to explain the premise nor give us any context. It just immediately assumes you know the Disney movie (bear in mind this was released 3 years after Disney's take) & that's all you need going into this! And unlike the Disney movie (besides the soundtrack bizarrely being various pieces of classical music for no apparent reason), the romance between Lena & Stephan NEVER gives them a sense of actual love or even chemistry. It's literally she saves him, they meet when she's human, a brief conflict (this time with an arranged marriage to another princess which is quickly resolved) & then they get married without a single word of dialogue between them! Seriously, even freaking Disney's Snow White & her Prince at the very least had a song between them before they declared their true love! When one of the most underdeveloped Disney couples ever has more of a romance than this mess, you know you're in trouble! Anyway, the direction, pacing, story & 'emotions' of are just an absolute farce & the best word to describe this movie is...boring!

Animation: As expected given that it was direct to video, the animation quality reflects that. It looks like a Saturday morning cartoon, except a bit worse & while I don't want to blame the animators themselves because of the quality, it's still pretty clear that they wanted this quickly done. The character designs clearly try to 'emulate' Disney rather it be with their colour scheme (except for Lena for obvious reasons) or the way they're drawn except they're much more basic & it gets frustrating because the character models can change scene after scene or even during cuts (and with duplicates as background characters). The relationship between the character animation and backgrounds is virtually non-existent up to the point that the merfolk look more like they're floating in mid-air rather than swimming or whenever they walk, the backgrounds don't sync together with the speed of them. And yes, it does look glitchy sometimes when the characters move & it doesn't really help that the lip syncing is very off & they don't sometimes even convey the emotions of the voice actor i.e. looking happy when sounding angry! Add in no sense of depth of lighting, badly painted & designed backgrounds & replaying little clips to drag the running time, the animation in this can just be qualified as lazy.

Characters: If you thought the story was a rip off of the Disney version, then you haven't seen anything yet with these characters. Princess Lena, the titular mermaid in this, is just a 'bubbly' cretin that's bland & irritating with absolutely no development or likeablity. Yes, I may have a few problems with Ariel (in particular her selfishness), but at the very least she had something called a personality, her enthusiastic nature did have a limit & she actually acknowledged whenever she had made mistakes! The dolphin Vink (I think that's his name) is just a rip-off of Flounder & this time round is Lena's royal pet who follows her around, goes along with what she wants, constantly worries & tries to convince her not to act like a brat & do the right thing. Cassandra is the Ursula rip-off but instead is part eel & unlike the latter, doesn't even appear let alone get mentioned after she transforms Lena into a human & explains the consequences of what would happen to her if the Prince didn't marry her. It doesn't really help that her motives for being evil are barely explained & she's pretty much only there for Lena to find a way to become human & for the movie to have a bad guy! Prince Stephan (obviously the Prince Eric expy) has absolutely no personality at all either & his character design is so much like Eric that they didn't even try to hide it! Lena's sisters do appear a bit more compared to the Disney movie, with Tris being the most prominent one, yet she's just the generic loving sister. The Sea King is the Triton expy both in design & the character trait of just yelling at his daughter being all overprotective & is the one to cause the conflict at the end for no apparent reason. Yes, there are a couple of other characters like the discount Grimsby & Princess Anna (not from Arendelle thankfully), those 2 bird friends & discount Flotsam & Jetsam, but they don't have personalities either so there's really no point in discussing them. Every single character either has one character trait or none whatsoever & they really are the most grating part of this dull & lifeless movie!

The Little Mermaid is easily the most boring adaptation of the story. Even if there are a few bits that are different (although not so subtly), it's undoubtedly a copy of the Disney version except with no emotions, depth or charm. The story just drags on with no context, the animation is lazy & the characters have absolutely no dimensionality to them. It's just a soulless cashgrabber meant to fool people into buying this over Disney's far superior version which has much more appealing & dimensional characters, stunning animation, unforgettable songs & an actual engaging plot! I don't even think I need to say to skip this film & watch the Disney version over it because this is just a massive waste of time! How I feel sorry for the poor clueless people that bought this back in the 90s...
Story: 2/10
Animation: 2/10
Characters: 1/10
Overall: 2/10

The Seventh Dwarf

Released back in 2014, this German made animated film was the final work for director by Harold Siepermann, an animator who helped work on various Disney projects like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Tarzan & Enchanted, before he sadly died of cancer. However, in a very interesting fact, this is actually the third film out of a trilogy of movies about the Seven Dwarves made back in 2004 & 2006 & is the first of the bunch to be animated. Even the actors who portrayed the dwarves in the live action films returned to voice their animated counterparts! And speaking of actors, the version I watched & shall be reviewing is the second English dub so Peyton List & Norm Macdonald don't voice Rose or Burner (not that it's gonna change my thoughts on the characters). So will this movie be able to be seven times the fun, or is it as insufferable as the seven deadly sins? Let's take a look!

Story: Right off the bat, I think anyone can already guess that this is trying to be something like Shrek with the set up of a fairytale crossover filled with anachronistic jokes & low brow humour. And you'd most definitely be right, except, like other Shrek rip-offs i.e. Happily N'Ever After, it doesn't do anything to make it stand out or bring any charm. Nothing in this can be considered original nor even interesting or funny because there is little to no focus! The story itself is your generic quest to save a cursed princess with wacky shenanigans along the way, but this time with the Seven Dwarves from Snow White helping kitchen boy Jack save his one true love Rose. It feels very predictable & by the book & throughout, I felt like the movie thought if it 'emulated' other fairytales to create Rose's story (a mix of Snow White & Sleeping Beauty with a curse being that she'll fall asleep for 100 years if she pricks her finger on ANYTHING before she turns 18. I'm sure there's an innuendo in there somewhere), then it would be 'original'. And as expected, it doesn't! The humour feels forced with its attempts at 'funny' slapstick, your typical low brow humor & the worst of the bunch, shoehorned references to pop culture & modern technology (including an incredibly obnoxious parody to YouTube of all things). And like mentioned before, this movie has little to no knowledge of who it wants to focus on, let alone what kind of movie it wants to be! Seriously, one minute it'll go into detail on Rose's story/curse via exposition narration, and then the next, it's all about Bobo the dwarf trying not to screw things up for everyone or Dellamorta cursing the kingdom! It doesn't really help that the stupid morals are condescendingly shoved in your face through pointless & lazily put together musical numbers & the pacing is so off that the incredibly slow anticlimactic token battle lasts about 10 minutes! And of course, the movie leaves little room to flesh out the characters, part of which made the aforementioned Shrek appealing in the first place despite the numerous pop culture & fairytale spoofs & has gaping plot holes which are not once acknowledged. It definitely qualifies as a poor man's Shrek like past attempts of the formula, and it's equally as cliched, obnoxious & bloated. I know I may not sound as angry as back when I reviewed Happily N'Ever After, but what else did you expect going into this?

Surprised that Youtube didn't file a lawsuit over this!

Animation: I think it's also clear from the pictures that the animation...isn't the best to say the least!  The character designs do attempt to make it like Disney except a little more cartoony (and generic) & it really doesn't work because there's no attention to detail put into the textures! Seriously, they all have uncanny valley dead eyes & some characters like Bobo look like something out of a Mr Tetley's Tea package or Jack looks more like a 12 year old kid than a guy in his late teens! And speaking of textures, both this & the effects like the magic, fire & various materials are very inconsistent from looking 'passable' to downright lazy. The character animation admittedly isn't that bad, but it can still look a bit too over the top & stiff for the type of characters they're trying to be. The backgrounds of Fantabularasa also rips off plenty of elements from better CGI movies up to the point that Dellamorta's ice palace looks uncannily similar to Elsa's ice palace. I will admit that the lighting & some of the locations do sort of help with the scale of the kingdom, but all of them come across as generic & bland. Another thing I would like to mention is that the movie does use 2D animation at the start for the movie as childish drawings to explain Rose's curse & it admittedly made the movie have a little promise (even if I already knew it was going to be bad & it still looks pretty bad). I'm not saying that it's the absolute worst CGI I've ever seen for an animated film, but it's still very...subpar by cinematic standards.

Characters: I know I wasn't as angry when talking about the story of this movie, but let me tell you that the characters make my blood boil with their stupidity & obnoxiousness! The dwarves (to be honest, I don't even remember their names except for the supposed main character Bobo) barely have personalities or chemistry with each other & are so boring that it made me scratch my head with why the movie wanted to focus on them. And like I mentioned, despite a lack of focus over who the movie is about, Bobo is given more 'development' thanks to his confusing arc about not being able to tie his shoelaces & fixing his mistake over causing Rose to be cursed. Oh yeah, and he's a walking disaster, I forgot to mention that! Princess Rose is my candidate for the absolute worst princess character ever invented! Other than being portrayed as sexist as a housewife from the 50s, she just acts like a dumb valley girl & can qualify more as a plot device due to her sleeping curse. She has no development, isn't interesting & is more than willing to let the love of her life save her rather than attempting to save herself or the kingdom. The villain, Dellamorta, is just a rip-off of infinitely better Disney villains with her 'motive' for cursing Rose being...she was in love with the king & he dumped her. Do they ever dive into their past & why he dumped her? Do they ever portray her as sympathetic or at the very least 2 dimensional? Do they squander the numerous possibilities with this character in favor of making her evil for just being evil & making her sound like a cross between Gollum & Harvey Fierstein except more annoying? Well, the answer to the last one is yes with no shame! Anyway, Jack, Rose's 'love interest' is just an absolute idiot without any redeeming qualities (or brain cells) because of his habit of not keeping his mouth shut in vital situations! The side characters are no better, either being Shrek rip-offs (including Puss in Boots' character design being 'borrowed' in this cameo) or one dimensional & equally as sexist like Snow White being an equally as dumb bimbo clad in a miniskirt who only appears in one scene or Red Riding Hood & the Big Bad Wolf as TV hosts with the sexual undertones of their original story being more glaringly obvious. And this is not dissimilar to rap artists Herman & Sherman who the dwarves meet in their quest & are just there to be 'comic relief' as racist stereotypes & are never seen again nor mentioned afterwards! Literally, the only character that can qualify as interesting is Burner (or Burnie), Dellamorta's dragon minion who really yearns to be a tap-dancer and ends up helping the dwarves & Jack in their quest to save Rose. But the downside to him is his arc is barely acknowledged & he does resort to being used for plot cliches and can have times of questionable intelligence. This is without a doubt the worst part of this movie because none of these characters are worth getting to know, let alone caring about or rooting for!

Seriously, even Kristen Stewart's Snow White in Snow White & the Huntsman was a better representation of the character!

Songs: Like mentioned before, this is a musical & they really are showstoppers...in that they stop the plot & make it feel like it's taking forever! None of them have any significance to the story nor the characters about who they are or how they're feeling about the situation going on.  I Not only that, but they're also very inconsistent with the genre ranging from Disney-esque Broadway (except incredibly lazy both in quality & execution) or modern pop to be 'fo sheezy hip dog!' or rap! Anyway, the first one is just about the dwarves baking a cake for Princess Rose's birthday which serves no purpose after Bobo destroys it & is easily forgiven. The second is an obnoxious pop song during Rose's birthday party used as ear bleeding background noise, the third is the generic villain's song with Dellamorta just spouting out her motive in the slowest & most obvious way possible without diving into her relationship with the king. The fourth is an obnoxious rap number by Herman & Sherman which is also pointless & shoved down our throats, the fifth one is just a song all about friendship being good as an apology to Bernie from Bobo to stop him from committing suicide (yes, really) which just obnoxiously talks down to the audience about the moral and the last one is the most obvious attempt at a Disney-esque love song (as well as the leitmotif of the movie) which is just banal & boring. I can't even be bothered going into the end credits songs because one is just repetitive with lyrics pretty much saying that being short is good sung by Dellamorta's voice actress! All of these songs feel as artificial as the rest of this & are without a doubt the cherry on the top for how dull & banal this movie really is.

So...what was the point of this movie? The Seventh Dwarf feels like something that was shelved about 10 years ago & put back into production to cash in on much popular CGI fairytale movies. The writing is lazy with no focus, the animation may not be the worst CGI I've ever seen yet is very inconsistent, the characters are all one dimensional with little to no common sense & the songs just feel like they were added in at the last minute. I'm not even sure who I can recommend this for because I think even children will be bored by this like I was (seriously, I cared more about making my lunch when I was watching this & nearly fell asleep) & they should just stick to the much better & smarter movies that have been out recently. While it may work as its own stand-alone movie compared to it's live action predecessors & is admittedly a tad less insufferable to watch as Happily N'Ever After, that still really doesn't make it worth watching.
Story: 2/10
Animation: 4/10
Characters: 1/10
Songs: 2/10
Overall: 2/10

Animation in Obscurity: Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

Yep, I'm back with Animation in Obscurity & I thought it would be return by reviewing probably Dreamworks' most obscure animated film (next to The Road to El Dorado, anyway), Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas! Released back in 2003, this would be the very last traditionally animated film before Jeffrey Katzenberg decided that Dreamworks would completely abandon the medium in favor of computer animation as they were box office hits at the time while hand drawn animated films were considered box office bombs. In fact, Katzenberg himself declared because of the low box office results this movie got that traditional animation was dead. So was Katzenberg right with this hyperbole of a statement (given that The Princess & the Frog would be released 6 years later), or is this as fun & swashbuckling as the lead man himself? Let's take a look!

Story: I just want to mention first that this was originally meant to be the first seven films centring on each ocean Sinbad & the gang goes to going on crazy adventures. But instead, they decided to put them all into  one movie. Now, with that said, this movie feels a bit cramped. It follows the formula of Sinbad has to look for a Macguffin (in this case the Book of Peace which is barely explained), he & Marina bicker, conflict ensues involving a giant monster, they make it through & there's some development. Rinse and repeat. Not only does it feel really cliched & repetitive, but the fact it feels so cramped with what it's trying to focus on between looking for the book, Sinbad & Marina's romance, Proteus sacrificing himself for Sinbad makes it more confusing. The comedy is admittedly a mix as it can rely heavily on 'cool and hip' slang, the comic relief characters relying on stereotypes & the  While the romance may be pretty cliched with Sinbad & Marina with the old 'they hate each other but they're clearly gonna get together' scenario, I will say that the banter between them is funny whenever they're at each other's throats & they do have some pretty good chemistry. But even with that, it's kinda hard to believe he's always been in love with her when they barely know each other & he had only met her once years ago. However, despite all of these issues, I will say that the action itself is very fun thanks to the fast paced scenes & seeing each is pretty interesting. And even if the character development is pretty cliched, at least the movie gives time for it instead of solely focusing on the adventure & it can feel genuine. Sure, it may be problematic in terms of plot, but it can still be fun thanks to the action & execution.

Animation: While the character designs are very nicely stylized, I oddly have an issue with the fact the main characters like Sinbad, Marina & Proteus are drawn as insanely good looking (and more Caucasian) while the ones with darker skin are perceived as ugly sans Kale...am I the only one who noticed that? Anyway, other designs like the sirens, Roc & giant Piranha are all pretty cool & surprisingly original. Along with that, the use of character animation is put to good use in the fast paced action scenes along with making the human characters & Spike the dog move more realistically, but without a doubt it's used at it's best on Eris! The way she moves so fluidly is so beautifully done & the ways she causes chaos (including putting herself into a freaking puppet version of Sinbad to steal the Book of Peace). The backgrounds of Syracuse really help with the grand scale of the movie & even when they're stuck in the middle of the ocean, they're still thanks to the variety of places they go & the action or romance scenes to help set the mood. If I had an issue, and it's pretty big, it would be the use of computer animation being inconsistent. While it's used to its advantage in Tartarus & the sails of Sinbad's ship, whenever a gargantuan monster would come & attack Sinbad & the crew, it REALLY sticks out like a sore thumb! he designs of the monsters themselves are very cool. While there's that little nitpick with the CGI, there's no denying the hand drawn animation is short of amazing!

Characters: While I enjoy these characters with their concept, I can't really say the same in terms of execution. Sinbad is a swashbuckling & selfish rogue who pretty much learns to be a good friend to Proteus while falling in love with Marina (his own best friend's fiancee). Sure, he may have a devilishly handsome design & Brad Pitt does a pretty funny performance (which probably explains why I had a massive crush on him as a kid), but even then all he really does is spew out one-liners & be a colossal douchebag til the end. Marina is pretty interesting in concept as the ambassador of her country & stowing away on Sinbad's ship to make sure he keeps his word to Proteus over obtaining the Book of Peace. Catherine Zeta-Jones was definitely the right casting choice with her snarky nature & it's fun seeing her be badass & gaining the crew's respect, but for the rest of the film she can mostly just qualify as the token love interest. Proteus (Joseph Fiennes) barely has a personality outside of his loyalty to both his kingdom & Sinbad, even if he's willing to sacrifice himself to at the expense of both. The rest of Sinbad's crew like Kale, Rat & Luca can all qualify as the comic relief with their own quirky personalities & it's pretty funny & sweet seeing them stick up to Marina compared to the misogynistic Sinbad. Spike can also qualify as a comic relief dog, but he's mostly there for gross-out humor &But without a doubt the best character in this movie is the villain, Eris. Not only does she have absolutely gorgeous animation both in design and movement, but Michelle Pfeiffer's performance clearly shows she's having fun & makes her pretty memorable. Even if she's not the best written villain out there, all of the positives about her more than make up for her lack of motivation or development. While the characters may be cliched for the most part, at least there's some room for development for its main lead & the voice actors do excellent performances.

Sure, Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas may not be the best with a cliched & cramped story & not the best characters in the Dreamworks library, but I find still find it fun. With creative animation, very fun action scenes, great voice acting & a pretty fun adventure story, I still recommend people see it at least once if there isn't anything else on. I do find it unfair that Jeff because with Disney, it was numerous films that led to its downfall I felt it was mostly because of the weaker stories & not the medium it was animated (even if CGI films just happened to be very popular thanks to Pixar). And given that Dreamworks has been going through their own crisis with their recent movies, that is probably closer to the truth with why them movies failed.
Story: 6/10
Animation: 8/10
Characters: 6/10
Overall: 7/10

Inside Out

I know I had previously said that I wouldn't be doing any more posts on this blog because of my 'lack of interest' in animated films. But to be perfectly honest with you readers, I still absolutely love watching them. After dealing with extremely personal issues over the past year (which made me miss doing last year's Animation Advent Calendar which I've already been preparing to make it up to you guys), I feel much better within myself & want to get back into reviewing what I love. And what better way than to return with this year's Best Animated Film Oscar winner, Pixar's Inside Out! Starring the likes of Amy Poehler, Phyllis Smith, Lewis Black, Bill Hader & Mindy Kaling and directed by Pete Docter, was this movie able to make me bawl like a baby like their past movies or will this make me feel angry & embarrassed for watching it? Let's take a look after nearly a year!


Story: Given that Pixar is known for coming up with the craziest of ideas in terms of concept, but manage to make it believable and enjoyable, this is definitely is another addition to their long list. The ideas & concepts of emotions may not be new with movies like Osmosis Jones & Herman's Head doing virtually the exact same thing, this actually manages to expand the concept to infinity & beyond. With various aspects of the head like memories, imagination, thoughts, dreams & the subconscious being touched upon during Joy & Sadness' adventure to get back to headquarter's, they are all interesting to know about thanks to the creativeness of the writers. Another part I love about the plot is the parallels between the real world with Riley trying to adjust to her new life in San Francisco along with adventure/journey plot with Joy & Sadness going on inside her head & how it affects her as the other emotions have to try & step into Joy's shoes, but obviously don't know how to. This definitely can be a challenge given that it could've easily solely focused on either one while leaving the other to the sidelines, but somehow Pixar managed to share each plot equally as they easily connect to each other. And given that this is obviously a movie centering on emotions, they are VERY strong in this, as the overall message is handled very realistically: it's OK to be upset. Nobody can be happy ALL the time otherwise that will just make you feel out of control & put so much pressure on yourself (trust me, I know that very well). I have never seen such an innovative concept be used to its full potential, but given that this is Pixar, what else did you expect?

Animation: Do I really need to say that the animation in this is absolutely amazing? I must say that this is probably Pixar's most creative animation I've seen yet both in the design & technical aspects. Not only do the physical representations of things like general & core memories, the personality islands & the console for controlling what the characters do/say all make sense for the world, but they are all also highly memorable. The character designs all fit each emotion with their personalities like Anger literally being a red brick & hot headed, Sadness being sort of the female equivalent to EEyore (am I the only one who noticed that?), Fear being a stereotypical nerd. But even at that, I felt the other characters inside Riley's head just looked like jelly beans with eyes & stick arms & legs. It's not as bad given that, but it still bothered me with how simple they are And even if the character animation is different in the real world with more restricted movements on the people & the more cartoony movements on the emotions, they actually work together very well as it knows how to blend the fluidity of realistic movements & the squash and stretch techniques used for the latter. The attention to detail with the textures are nothing short of amazing. The backgrounds of inside the head are so vast & grand like in Long Term Memory, Imagination Land & Dream Motion Pictures (I know Osmosis Jones did something like the latter, but it's used much better in this movie) that every action scene makes you forget this is all going on in somebody's noggin! And even then, the way they represent San Francisco in the real world makes it look like more than just a generic city but with the Golden Gate Bridge. While the animation looks amazing with the technical achievements, this is nothing compared to the innovation in the designs.

Characters: given that this is Pixar we're talking about, of course this provides us with three dimensional and loveable characters! Joy (Amy Poehler), Riley's head memory is pretty much what you'd expect as her main goal is to keep Riley as the same optimistic and happy girl despite all the changes going on in her life, although I will say that she can push it a bit too hard especially with Sadness despite her good intentions. Sadness (Phyllis Smith) can easily be qualified as the black sheep of Riley's emotions and is repressed by Joy, but she is surprisingly really important and her interactions with Joy as the pessimist and optimist being forced to work together can lead to some funny and emotionally deep moments. Anger (voiced by Lewis Black), Fear (Bill Hader) and Disgust (Mindy Kaling) may not contribute as much in the plot with Joy and Sadness, but they all have unique personalities like Anger being the hot-headed, Disgust as the snobby fashionista and Fear as the overtly cautious-neurotic and it is interesting to see how their actions affect Riley as they try to fill Joy's shoes in headquarters while obviously being incapable of doing so. Given that all of these emotions are controlling her, Riley is probably the most interesting character in this, as we see how her conflicting and out of control emotions react to how she deals with moving from Minnesota to San Francisco while Joy and Sadness are trying to get back to headquarters (and given that she's 11 & on the brink of puberty, it's done surprisingly accurately). As for her parents, they may not be the most interesting characters to know about compared to their daughter, although you could argue that they can be when you take into account her mother's head emotion is Sadness while her father's is Anger...Anyway, one final character I wanna quickly bring up is Bing Bong (Richard Kind), Riley's former imaginary friend. I'm not gonna lie, he kind of annoyed me at first with his goofy & over the top personality, but as the film progresses, it's understandable why he's like this along with a very surprising moment which really made me feel for him. And before I forget, I just want to mention that there isn't a single antagonist in this movie! Seriously, the conflict in this is actually much more realistic than just having a villain to make Riley's life miserable & even Anger isn't portrayed as a bad guy despite his, well, grumpy attitude. With amazing voice acting to complement the characters, they all manage to have their own form of development & a unique personality which makes them highly memorable.

Inside Out is most definitely one of the strongest Pixar films so far with an emotional story & innovative concept, amazing animation from the best in the business and loveable and developed characters both inside & out of the head! Given that Pixar had been going through somewhat of a 'dark age' recently, this definitely felt refreshing and had brought them back in form. I haven't seen The Good Dinosaur by the way, but judging the reviews, production troubles (including numerous delays, changing the director, direction the plot was going & even virtually the entire cast a few months before the release), & the plot itself, it doesn't really interest me as much despite the gorgeous animation (even if I don't think the character designs suit the mood the movie's going for at all). But still, I'm so glad this was the movie to win the Oscar for Best Animated Feature & is actually my new favourite Pixar film outside of the Toy Story franchise!
Story: 10/10
Animation: 10/10
Characters: 9/10
Overall: 10/10